As I mentioned in the introductory post, I think we both assumed we were in love when we married. We were young and didn’t have much experience with love past the parental and sibling kind.
Through our 20 years my wife has demonstrated her loving manner time and time again. It’s a concept you have to understand in totality. There are no parts to my wife’s loving way. She’s in for it all the way.
And that is probably the best way I can sum it up. Her love is unconditional and presses itself around you, molds itself to your love and then assumes one form. I can’t tell where my love stops and hers starts. Nothing pushes the love away and there is no separation.
One of the more memorable events in our marriage to demonstrate my wife’s unconditional loving way occurred when we experienced a great loss. His name was David and he was our son.
David was born premature. The actual weeks aren’t important, but what is important is the fact he was one of the smaller babies born that year. He had typical premie issues such as breathing problems, but he was progressing well, gaining weight and looking better each day.
As a side note, today’s premies hardly have issues with their breathing. This is due to the availability of surfactant, which helps their lungs lubricate. David didn’t have that, so it was a rough run with his breathing.
Anyway, three months into his life he contracted an infection. The infection routed itself to his heart and we lost him. It was devastating.
Now, imagine being married less than a year and your first child dies. Toss in the fact you’re under 21 and you’re looking at divorce.
Something funny happened, though. We turned to each other. We lived on pizza, slept in front of our only window AC unit and talked. We played whiffle ball in a thunder storm so brutal the police made us stop and go home. We sat during that deluge on a sewer opening. As the water gushed by we cleansed our souls by laying bare any preconception about marriage. We spoke of the future, the loss and the moment.
The moment is when we realized we were beginning our lives. Together. In love.
My wife could have easily lost her love for me. She could have pinned our marriage on our son, and without him the marriage would collapse. She isn’t like that, though. Her love for me is unconditional and there was no better evidence of it than this.
I remember the cold pricks of the rain as we sat there talking during the thunderstorm. I also remember the warmth I felt when it finally dawned on me that my wife truly loved me for me. The rain, the gushing water, the periodic thunder faded away as this was revealed to me.
Today’s Gift: Red Roses. Red roses are the roses of love, which makes it the perfect gift for appreciation of unconditional love.